aikido

The reasons we don’t quit can be the hardest to admit.

In an effort to put shape into some fears, I will attempt to open a window into some places I try to often to forget. The most humbling thing I have had to learn about my training has been how mean, unforgivable, impatient, and indifferent I can be with myself. It’s easier to find people or events to blame it on, even if some had everything to contribute to how I feel about myself. Framework is like driftwood. It gets shaped by everything we have ever experienced. Sometimes mine feels covered in duct tape tied to splints as I try to remember that I am not everything I’ve been through or have done. I am me now. I am worth being loved, supported, nurtured, forgiven, etc… I want to remember this when I am faced with fears of punishment, of success, of power struggles, of loneliness, of action, of growth. I want to trust that the work matters because we all matter. I train because I needed to remember that I matter too.

I needed to know that I could stop them next time. I needed to know that I could do everything in my power to see that there wasn't a next time. I want to share time and tools to help you remember that you matter. I want you to know that you can be anything and do anything that you are inspired to do because that is what the unwinding process of the inside and outside work of things like Yoga and Aikido afford. Opportunities for you to YOU and find community that loves you for it.
With support and love, don’t quit.

Anna

Taking care of each other on the mat is part of the training.

When we step on the mat day one, we have an opportunity to meet people who are more experienced in the art. We can open our minds and hearts to know that we are being held in a unique experience of learning how to be there for each other. The wealth of information given can be overwhelming, so I encourage you to throw out whatever expectation that you had before showing up and just be there with your community. This is when training can shift it’s focus to be about Community. In Aikido, we work with partners in intense conditions so that we can provide real risk in situations of proximity. The person closest to you is your partner first, but keeping in mind that you are both not alone on the mat is important.

The initial connection once you bow into your partner is an agreement to be there together, paying attention to speed, space, timing, and strength. Be mindful of your approach to assessing the situation in your responsibility of your own movement first and how it connects to the other person as a whole. If you can tell that someone is scared and disconnected, that is when you slow down to help them find themselves so they can show up to the technique and be present as a way to protect themselves instead of shielding, blocking, or disassociating. Once you decide who will go first (be nage or the one that gets attacked first) the attacker (uke) makes a commitment to give an authentic attack. This is not just about how well you can do a technique! This doesn’t necessarily mean going fast either. It means the attack has to be consistent and complete with their full spirit with respect to the situation of variables offered by the instruction of the technique. Staying fully present as nage (the one doing the technique) we have to be paying total attention to how are actions, position, and speed are effecting our partners ability to stay connected so that we can keep them safe. Doing all of this slowly to really work on the timing and making a true connection is the key. Repeating a technique but training slowly can be worth so much more than doing it once with full power and disregard to their partners level of ability.

Move like you are under water with them. Be consistent. Stay connected. You have an opportunity to realize that every moment with them in this setting is a gift and that you are learning how to truly take care of another person even under dangerous and intense conditions. Then we switch and the roles reverse so that we both have the opportunity to learn the technique and ukemi from both sides of the “conflict.” Even though we are in this playground of variables, the suspension of all of these dynamic pieces have to be happening at the same time. Aikido at it’s roots, includes compassion for the attacker but not backing down or letting our space be sacrificed. We get to surrender to the movements with them and allow beauty to flow through the connection between us. I encourage you to slow down, find your partners energy, see where they truly are in each moment and pay careful attention to make sure that you both have proper position through the movements respective to you roles in each given moment. The information available will help you keep each other safe. It can offer many layers of awareness that will help build strong foundations and your overall awareness that I hope becomes second nature as well as becomes how you approach seeing the outside of the dojo world as well. Please take care of each other and I look forward to seeing you on the mat.

Love, Anna