In an effort to put shape into some fears, I will attempt to open a window into some places I try to often to forget. The most humbling thing I have had to learn about my training has been how mean, unforgivable, impatient, and indifferent I can be with myself. It’s easier to find people or events to blame it on, even if some had everything to contribute to how I feel about myself. Framework is like driftwood. It gets shaped by everything we have ever experienced. Sometimes mine feels covered in duct tape tied to splints as I try to remember that I am not everything I’ve been through or have done. I am me now. I am worth being loved, supported, nurtured, forgiven, etc… I want to remember this when I am faced with fears of punishment, of success, of power struggles, of loneliness, of action, of growth. I want to trust that the work matters because we all matter. I train because I needed to remember that I matter too.
I needed to know that I could stop them next time. I needed to know that I could do everything in my power to see that there wasn't a next time. I want to share time and tools to help you remember that you matter. I want you to know that you can be anything and do anything that you are inspired to do because that is what the unwinding process of the inside and outside work of things like Yoga and Aikido afford. Opportunities for you to YOU and find community that loves you for it.
With support and love, don’t quit.
Anna